I`m going to give you a piece of my mind.

Those of you familiar with Facebook already know what a ‘poke’ is in that context. For the uninitiated, a ‘poke’ is the equivalent of a wave across the office, a hello, a “yoo-hoo! I see you!” or a “hey, you know what, thinking about you.”

It’s used either when you don’t actually have a full idea to share/thought to articulate or to be cheeky; akin to someone looking at you, sticking out their tongue and both of you giggling.  A pull of the pigtails, a tap on the shoulder, then walking away – with a smile, mind you, and a hint of a “hey, engage me on some level.”

Those of us who use Facebook as part of our social media “strategy” (or probably more apropos: our “Procrastination Strategy”) have become accustomed to this even more fly-by way of connecting with people. Now that we have included Twitter in the buffet of staccato communicating choices, what’s a poor tweep to do when all we want to do is poke?

Earlier this morning, I got a friendly ‘poke’ from @GDGeek to which @VicTriviaQueen replied “Twitter totally needs a poke equivalent. Maybe a Flap or Flyby to tie it in with the bird theme?” @GDGeek had some ideas: “Maybe a “buzz” (low-flying bird) or a “squawk”"

I thought about this… twoke wouldn’t work. Twickle? Twouch? Twab? Twush?

My reply?

“I kinda fancy the term “goose” ;)”

After some social proof of approval for the term, I hereby announce that we can all start goosing our twitter friends.

“We” just had a discussion on Twitter about school bullying and I thought I’d expand on what I said here because of Twitter’s limitations. We have given our boys a few tools to deal with bullies should it ever happen to them at school.

What I said – Tweet 1:

What we have told our sons to do: Happens 1ce, tell kid what needs to stop. Happens 2x tell teacher. Happens 3x go to principal

Tweet 2:

the 4th… raise a stink, a HUGE one that make the playground monitors have to come over. Flail, scream go nuts – make it so YOU

Tweet 3:

need to be called in… you can bet that they won’t want the trouble again after that

Essentially – The first time the bullying happens, the child doing the bullying might not know what they are doing is bullying, or at the least annoying. Your child needs to be able to tell his/her classmate what it is – specifically – they would like to have stop and what they would rather happen. Was it the words used? Was it the tone of voice? The name called? Any type of touch/hitting? This is not that easy to do, and it takes practice because most children do not automatically have the skills to articulate – they don’t know what they’re feeling. They need to learn to actually recognize the moment they begin to feel “this isn’t OK” “I am bothered by this.” This is where we, as parents, become curious. Ask questions, guide their focus/awareness to pay attention to how they feel bullied – (ie. is it feeling ill, stomach pain, shortness of breath, “stress”… etc…) what is “that bullying feeling”? For 2 reasons: 1) it tells them when they need to do something and 2) it tells them what they need to do something about. Practice, roll-play and read. This also helps your child to not become a whiney tattle-tale every time something little happens. It will take some trial-and-error… sometimes your child will feel like handling it themselves a couple of times as they become more confident in their verbal skills.

The second time, we told our boys to tell the teacher – again, it is important to say what, specifically, they would like to stop and it’s helpful to say what they would like to happen instead. Tell the teacher you have already told the bully exactly what they were doing that made you feel bad/scare/hurt. This is where you need to help your child come up with 3 or 4 GROWN UP sentances he/she can use with the teacher. The goal is to help the teacher understand and take this seriously.  This is where it *should* stop… but… that isn’t always the case.

The third time – go to ME (the parent) and we will go straight to the principal. It is important that our child is present at this meeting so that an example of how to deal with the situation as an adult. This will be important for them later on in life.

If it happens again, you have our permission to freak out. Get mad. Scream. Make a scene. Defend yourself. Get nasty. Swear. Make a fuss…. The point is to get noticed by the adults in charge to get taken to the office at the *exact* moment it’s happening. This is important. Once at the office repeat “Call my Mom” or “Call my Dad” over and over until they do; nothing esle. We will come.

Then it’s OUR turn. Heaven help the people who, when my child and I asked for help, didn’t.

If you’d like any further information on any of this, talk to this guy:

Daniel Scott

http://SoaringSuccess.ca – and

http://VerbalDefenseTactics.com

We are looking to put together a 1/2-day workshop to teach parents how to teach their children to do all this. $30 – minimum 6 people. Contact me or Daniel to let us know if you’re interested.